My Idiot Boyfriend
by DeviousDivinity
Summary: Take a trip down memory lane with Hermione. See all of Ron's stupid clueless mistakes. down to the point where he hands her a small velvet box. but knowing Ron, things arnt always what they seem. Songfic: Idiot Boyfriend Artist Jimmy Fallon


_**My Idiot Boyfriend**_

_**Ooooooo  
Ahhhhhh **_

Hermione didn't know how much of this she could take. Sure he was immature and sometimes did stupid things and be clueless if as to what he did was wrong but it was all done out of love. After Hogwarts Ron and Hermione's relationship has been a rocky one. They had broken up and gotten back together so many times in 4 years she had lost track. Now at the age of twenty two. She was on the verge of blowing her top off. Hermione loved him dearly but sometimes he could be so stupid and such an idiot.

_**I know what you want, and I know what you need  
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah  
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am  
**_

Last night he had come over to her flat and apologized for getting her angry the night before. You see she and Ron were over at the burrow that night having dinner with Harry and Ginny. Ron happens to comment on women's menstrual period and how it affects there moods and how you mustn't get them angry or you might end up castrated.

Then he goes and says " take it from me, Hermione seems to almost be on it all the time, Sensitive that one" well that just about did it. She wasn't that sensitive and was most certainly never on it more then one month at a time. Well you can imagine what happened next. They argued for a while and then she left, apologizing to Harry and Ginny on her way out.

Now here he was this morning with a small velvet box in his hand and apologizing once again, His hair was looking better now. Now to Hermione that velvet box meant something huge for her. She new that what contained that little box would change her life forever. So she began to think back on all the things Ron has inflicted on her and reminisced on so much more. Memories flooded her mind on everything that Ron has done.

_**I'm goin' take you out, and leave my wallet home  
Then I use your cell phone, baby  
Long distance, and I'm your boyfriend  
**_

**Hermione's POV:**

About a year after we had started going out we went to a very fancy restaurant for dinner. It was our one month anniversary you see. When it came time to pay for the dinner Ronald just so happens to forget his wallet at home. So who ended up paying for it? ME that's Who. After leaving the restaurant we walked along the streets and he all of a sudden wanted to make a call.

So me being the kind person I am I let him use my cell phone. When it came time to pay my bill, it was twice what I usually paid. Of course I confronted him. Do you know what he said? He said that he had remembered to call Romania to remind his brother to come to Mrs. Weasleys birthday party. The part that got me really angry though was the fact that, that so called birthday party was 2 weeks ago. Course he apologized and said that it was a mistake he made and he was sorry.

_**Baby I know I'm a man who's made mistakes  
I still got some learning to do **_

_**I made out with your best friend the other day, and  
Now we're best friends too  
Yeah Yeah **_

_**And I know what you want, and I know what you need  
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah  
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am **_

A year later we broke up because i had caught him cheating on me with my best friend Lavender.  
_**  
And I'm goin' get you a gift, Hey! But its something I like too  
Hope you like this Norelco Beard Trimmer with my name on it,  
And I'm your boyfriend **_

A couple months later I forgave him because he said that she had seduced him and he was thinking about her the whole time they were doing it. So we got back together on my birthday. That day it was going so well until it came down to the presents. Harry and Ginny had gotten me the entire Shakespeare Collection. Luna had gotten me dandelion tea saying that it cured menstrual craps because she heard from Ron that I got them a lot.

This got me a little mad but not as mad as what Ron had gotten me. He got me a beard trimmer. Where on my smooth face do you see hair. Besides my eyebrows but anyways yeah that got me mad and it also had his name inscribed on it. We argued again after everyone had left. He said if I didn't like it then to give it back. So I chucked it at him and left.

_**Hey Deh Deh Deh Deh Deh  
Yeah deh deh deh deh deh deh  
deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh**_

_**Goin' Get real drunk,**_  
_**And call my baby up at four o'clock in the morning**_  
_**Wake you up**_  
_**I'm an idiot!**_

The next day he had the audacity to call me at four o'clock in the morning drunk. Asking me to come over to the Burrow. I said no and hung up. Not a minute later he called again and said he had the keys to his dads car and he would pick me up. I once again said No and hung up. Again he called for the third time and started to explain all the things we could do. Again for the third time I hung up and said that he was such an idiot and broke up with him.

_**Pick up the phone, come on  
Now Look **_

_**Lets get in my dad's SUV,  
And we'll go over to my house, my crib, my pad  
I'll tell my mom to go to sleep  
Then we'll have the living room all to ourselves, you see  
We'll put on some great DVD's I picked up  
How bout like, something like the Matrix**_

_**Ooooo**_  
_**Ahhhhh**_

**_I can turn my boom box up, and make the bass_**  
**_Smack the side of my moms couch_**  
**_Yeah!_**

A year later we got back together after he had gotten himself his own place. I know what was I thinking right? But even if he can be such an idiot he can also be sweet most of the time. I guess he just needs me to guide him in the right direction.

We were scheduled to have our little date at his house. So I got all dressed up because he said that we were to pretend that it was an elegant restaurant that was reserved just for the two of us. that's why I liked him so much he was such a sweetheart. I arrived and stepped into his flat, saw a candlelight dinner set for two. He led me to my chair and pulled it back for me, Then went to his freezer. I don't know if he was nervous because he had forgotten to push my chair back in for me. I ignored that and seated myself. He turned to me from behind the freezer door and yelled back "What would u like" I looked at him confused until he showed me two microwavable TV dinners. All I could do was close my eyes and drop my head and shake it.

_**Hey baby you like fine cooking? Cause you know what?  
I got a swanson's dinner in the freezer with your name on it  
Check it out **_

Couple days later he got a perm, said that he wanted us to look alike as a cute couple.

He got that done with my money that I had given him to go deposite to Gringotts. Yeah I got mad and told him that he was so irresponsible and that his man perm was ugly. 

_**Yeah!**_

_**I got a permanent wave, yeah! **_  
_**I got an ogilvie home perm, baby**_

**Back to Present:**

" Hermione I know that I don't always know what to say and what to do, but this way I will always know. I know I make you lose your temper once in a while" Hermione looked at him like your kidding right. " Okay! a lot but please forgive me for the millionth time and except this gift from me" He opened the box and inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Stepping up to the box a little more Hermione was lost at words. Not because of the ring but what the inside of the box read. **" Property of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: Mood Swing Rings" **Hermione looked at him as he took the ring from the box. He made a move to put it on her but she stepped back.

"what is that?" she asked in a high voice.

"well don't you like it, this way I'll know what mood your in and when to leave you alone so that you wont yell at me anymore. Plus it come in a pair. I have the other, I figured if we cant be cute couple twins with hair then we'll be cute couple twins by rings. Oh also it's a simple spell but it helps out with your mood swings. If I ask my mood ring to calm you down then you will isn't it great?. well say something.

"Uh…well that's…" Hermione lost her words, for a second there she thought he was going to propose. "a mood ring?" she asked.

"yeah, I figured that id be a lot safer around you what with your menstrual moods I like to call them"

"RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY!" she yelled.

"wow didn't see that coming maybe you should try putting the ring on"

After that day things were a little better he had persuaded her in to wearing it and explained what each color meant. Green meant good mood. Violet meant I was in love and when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a huge red mark on his forehead

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond ring, cheapskate!

_**Uh! I Honk the horn can you honk the horn?  
Can you honk the horn?  
Let me hear you honk it! Come on!**_

_**Let me hear you say uh uh!**_  
_**Let me hear you say uh uh uh!**_  
_**Let me see you say uh uh!**_  
_**Let me hear you say uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah!**_  
_**Let me hear you say uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah**_

**Thanx for reading my new fic. i was bored today so yeah...plus i like this song it funny. oh and CHANGE OF HEART will be updated soon i promise. **

**Laterz**

**DeviousDivinity  
**

**(used to be DracosPunkBabe)**

**Mwah!**

**SONG: Idiot Boyfriend**

**ARTIST: Jimmy Fallon**


End file.
